The Irony in Happiness

Life is indeed ironic. It’s often said ‘no pain no gain’ and it so sucks that way. Whoever wants pain? We all crave happiness because it saves us from pain, hurt and worries. But something I also realized and have to Share: You have to enjoy your pain too. In fact, pain, mistakes, hurt also make up the whole package that delivers us that happiness we seek.
Happiness is not excitement that is a bubble: beautiful, capable of flying, but pending when it disappears. Happiness is far more than that. It is about how you turned out. The state of your being. It incorporates in all your dispositions, choices, status, and gives the final result in degrees. It is an overall analysis. And one thing that helps attain this happiness is enjoying, not enduring pain.
I know I still sound silly asking you to enjoy pain. But I have more of your interest at heart than what I said. I wish I could say it differently and still say the truth.
The truth is that we learn from our mistakes, pain, hurts and flaws; and enjoying these things teaches us best. You would never know love until you know hate. You may not know what someone has been doing until the person stops and is not replaced.
Life is not a highway you move and live anyhow. It is a narrow way with twists and turns, puzzles and scares, troubles and pain: that all build us to be the perfect mold of beauty. You would love a down-to-earth honest person because the person has experienced life in a way the rich brat has not. Success is beautiful but comes on the back of hard work and not party and shopping and travel that seem so cool. The happiness you get is the feeling of fulfillment after accomplishing something that is successful. The success then not only affords you the beautiful feeling, but also the party, shopping and travel that you rather sacrificed to have the success.
Do you notice something there in the mix? One person is really happy, while the other is toiling in pain. But it turns out that the one in pain comes to have it all with a beautiful feeling of accomplishment that swells his or her pride, and fills the emptiness that drives rich kids wayward. Rich kids somehow go wayward because they just see the money, get whatever they want, and would not take pain and discipline that made their fathers amass the wealth they enjoy. No… No… No… there is no easier way to say it. It is the pain of purpose that take away the emptiness, worthless feeling, loneliness and self-destructive tendencies that users abhor.
Pain is purpose, because you could have it another way. You could cut corners, bribe, lie, trick, cheat, but you rather take the discipline to have it the right way. Then the pain is beautiful when it teaches you the value of things, worth of people, different tastes and characters, and sharpens your instincts. The wealth of experience through pain (as a purpose) gives you not only pleasure, also better choices, sound judgment, pride of experience. The lack of purpose and the pain to realize your purpose breeds emptiness, loneliness, jealousy, envy and lust that in turn causes slander, dirty politics, blackmail, corruption, sabotage – all plagues of aristocrats that forget that hard work and pain gave them class and power so they do all to stay afloat.
Go read or watch the Cinderella Story again. The Prince, Princess, Fate, Choice would always be that other person that has the character learned in pain. Then the ones without pain slander, jealous, fight, because they want but have nothing to buy it.
Mind you, this is a world where bribes, slanders, betrayal etc. has paid off. Mischief has to be there to cause the Pain for those that want that true happiness. If the seeming bad ones don’t win, they won’t continue being bad; and if they don’t continue, there won’t be pain and discipline that gives that character, fulfillment and true happiness (not excitement) to the seeming good that pay it forward. Life will never force you but give you a choice. Pay it forward or afterward. Society and theater call it good or evil. The two Kinds complement each other. We need each other. You would never know what light is, if you’ve never seen the dark. Let power or the internet go off and you know how much you depend on it.
However, society would advise you to choose the good – pay it forward. They may not say take the pain, but that is what they mean. I write that you enjoy the pain because of what it yields. But I also write, do not think the pain will go away because they complement you. Pain bakes you – makes you into the best you – like fire and gold. Moreover, it is when you overcome the pain and find your success that your happiness springs and covers all your wounds and makes you the Praise of the earth, the one many adore. The feeling of success after pain swells your heart and you forget every pain you ever felt. Then the Love you get and now know how to give, fills every emptiness you would have felt. You would be beautiful and envied by those that did cut the corners and would not enjoy pain. And trust me, nothing will make you happier than to see the one that enjoyed when you suffered envy you – that vindictive element we all have.
No… I wish I am not this angel of doom preaching pain. Rather see it like a Pay forward than afterward. This is it when they say that the first shall become the last and the last shall become the first. It is always a choice. Choose who you want to be and how you want to pay. The other sad thing is that there is no fence. You must either pay forward or afterward; or pay as a pawn that suffers or dies for the King and Queen to stay alive. The protagonist does not die, but people do die. The ones that die for the protagonists and antagonists are the pawns who pay because they would not take a stance. But what does life care? Life gives you choices. I thought I explain it: choosing a stance is a choice, not choosing is a choice. I rather you choose to pay it forward: enjoy your pain and reap it sweet. The day of death is far better than the day of birth.

Ifiok Udoka is a representative of the Digital Love Doctor.
The Digital Love Doctor writes about Life, Dating and Relationship in this Digital Age. He sees the world Digitally and strives to explain the difference between this Digital Age and the previous Ages of Life. He aims at helping us understand our world to therefore have us ‘Live and Love and Be Happy’ – the very passion that drive him.
It is only ironic that the Digital Love Doctor prefers to stay anonymous to the world.
Ifiok Udoka finds the works of the Digital Love Doctor interesting and stands in to represent and promote him.
You can find interesting works of the Digital Love Doctor using the WEBSITE URL. The works range from articles posted here, to Relationship and Dating Tips, Relationship Experience by Readers, Social Media Vibes etc. You can also CONTACT the Digital Love Doctor for Dating and Relationship Counsel or SHARE your own experience. is the Digital Love Doctor’s Sphere. You can visit to read more articles that will stir your mind and help you understand your world. You can also CONTACT to share directly with the Digital Love Doctor.

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